Anybody remember this book? I’m not actually currently reading it. (I’m actually beginning Catch 22. Keep up the suggestions.) It just seemed appropriate.
Not that I’m having a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day. On the contrary, other than my head cold, today has been pretty decent.
However, sometimes, we all need to be allowed a bad day now and then. I’m not requesting permission to yell at old people, or kick small children, or kill kittens. I’m simply commenting that sometimes we all need a little solitude and the chance to be grumpy, because grumpy is a feeling, and you have to acknowledge your feelings in order to deal with them. I suppose another good reference would be the song “I Just Wanna be Mad for a While”. I also think this might be good advice to some of the people whose posts lately have lamented their ability to “vent” on Xanga. (I will say, however, if you wanted a true outlet for venting, you should have remained more anonymous in your profile and posts. Try creating a new anonymous profile.) We all have to deal with our feelings, so we should be respectful of one another’s need to process. Be in tune with other people. Sometimes we need a hug; other times we don’t want to be cheered up. Sometimes we want someone to just listen; sometimes we crave advice and approval; other times, we don’t want to talk at all.
So does it bother you that some guy doesn’t act toward you the way you wish he would? I understand, and you have a right to feel that way. It’s good to acknowledge those feelings. But you also have to acknowledge that the only person you can change is yourself.
Are you miffed because some girl keeps telling everyone how upset she is with you? I understand, and you have a right to feel that way. It’s good to acknowledge those feelings. But she has feelings, too, that she needs to express. Good friends will let you both “vent” without taking sides. (Just remember: Your friends have feelings, too, and they may start to feel annoyed with all the drama between you!)
Just be wary of publicly projecting your opinions of someone else’s feelings, especially if you think that person might be reading your opinions. Example: “I don’t understand why Andrew isn’t talking to me. I think/worry that/wonder if he isn’t attracted to me anymore.” is probably better than “Andrew is in such a bad mood! Gah! I can’t believe he won’t answer my calls. What, am I not pretty enough for him anymore?!” if you think “Andrew” will be reading. On the flip side, if you’d like an outlet in which you can feel free to call Andrew a <>, open another annonymous account and rant all day about his bad mood. Get those feelings out.
All that being said, here are two quotations for today:
The true secret of giving advice is, after you have honestly given it, to be perfectly indifferent whether it is taken or not, and never persist in trying to set people right. — Hannah Whitall Smith
Never give advice unless asked. — German Proverb