Friends, this week has beaten me down. But I am trying to stay positive, and last night was a bright spot: my new voice student is “paying” me by helping me out with various and sundry projects I have going on, so she came over last night for dinner and music organizing. Another friend needed my notarial services and happened to show up just as we were making dinner, so he had eggs and skillet potatoes and corned beef with us. Simple, but decently tasty (and really filling). We actually made a dent in the music and then called it a night.
I also went to a fun birthday party late Tuesday night. I got to catch up with a few friends from college and make some new fun people, but I stayed too late trying to ignore the swirl of thoughts in my head; and then got into a cab with a driver who first nearly had a wreck that slammed me into the partition and into a heap on the floorboards (in his defense, some other cab ran a yellow light), and then got all turned around because he apparently doesn’t know Astoria. Late, late night.
But work has been, well, a small hell, and it has brought me to a few realizations. I have two very good guy friends in my life right now (ok, I actually am blessed with more than two), and in these difficult times in my life lately, both of them have been sweet and supportive, but they have also both very firmly pointed me toward Jesus, reminding me that HE is really the man I need right now. And boy, are they right. I was lamenting the other day that I wanted someone to wrap his arms around me while I bury my face into his neck and collapse from sheer exhaustion. I started thinking about it, and although that physical scenario is something I definitely want, I realized [at risk of sounding cliché] that what I DO have right now is the Everlasting Arms. The One who never fails, who is always there. I think He misses talking to me, because it’s been a while — and as one of the guys gently reminded me, he usually doesn’t like being sent to voicemail.
So on that note, I’m going to stop ignoring his calls. Time to turn off the blog and go spend some time in prayer and worship.